if someone is genuinely interested in buying the xbox one, cool!
if someone is genuinely interested in buying the ps4, cool!
1. There will be several days that you daydream about stepping in front of a city bus. Don’t. It will not be beautiful. It will not be brave. It will be selfish. It will be broken. Your mother will cry.
2. Don’t write for him. Write for you. Write for others like you. Write so the girl that thinks about stepping in front of public transportation doesn’t. Don’t be selfish.
3. When you will yourself to sleep and it doesn’t come- get up. It doesn’t matter that it’s 3 am. There will be other 3 am’s. Take a shower. Take two. Wash him out of your hair. Write a poem. Read the same book you’ve read 202 times again. The 203rd time might tell you something different. Don’t stay in bed- you will think about the bus again.
4. Don’t kiss him because he’s broken. Don’t kiss him because his laughter never reaches his eyes. Don’t try and fix him. Fix yourself first. Be selfish. He can’t save you.
5. Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself.
6. Dress up and wear red lipstick and get drunk with your friends. They’re the ones that will pick you up. Don’t kiss him. Or him. Don’t fall asleep on strange couches with strange boys. When his hand slides up your dress walk away. Hit him. Don’t kiss him. He can’t save you.
7. Get another tattoo. Get five more. Get another hole in your ear. Don’t listen to your dad. You will still be able to get a job. Did you really want to be employed by someone like your father? Haven’t you had enough of judgmental old white men anyway? Get fuck you tattooed in tiny letters on your hip.
8. When you feel the yearning for a new city- start over. Take 200 bucks and a three suitcases. Work anywhere that will have you. Meet strange people and forget your name. Call yourself Ruby. No one will know the difference. Remember to call your mother. Don’t be selfish. Come home when you find yourself in the strangers and the small one bedroom apartment.
9. Don’t whisper evil things into your own ear. Other people are going to shout them at you. Be your own hero. Keep a sword on your key ring.
10. Don’t step in front of a city bus. It will not be beautiful. Live. Stay up all night with a boy that promises you everything and means it. Live. See shitty local bands with a friend. Wear a different band’s t-shirt. No one will care. Live. Have a baby girl with tiny fingers and tiny toes someday. Pour love into her until it’s overflowing. Live. Wake up. Staying in bed all day is not poetic.
Do you hear that? It’s me. It’s your life. Wake up.
Would you believe that it is my last week in Dallas?! No? Me neither! I’ve been here since March 5th and leave on May 17th. Time has certainly flown by!
Despite being low at points during my stay here, I have absolutely loved being here. I’m glad I got the opportunity to come and live in a country before I seriously look at jobs out here when I finish my PhD. It’s helped me make the decision that I would really love to live and work out here at some point in the future.
I’ve learnt so much from the lab here, and am so grateful to the guys here for taking the time to show me the techniques properly so I can do them at home.
Being able to meet some local derby people was also a highlight. Spending Saturday with the Dallas Derby Devils and being their first ceremonial whistle blower was amazing. They are a real friendly bunch and I hope some day I get to skate with them, either for or against depending on where my career takes me.
I really hate the “Scottish” accents they have in American TV adverts. I’m from Scotland, no-one sounds like that. Ever.
I had my first roller derby related dream in ages! I used to have them a lot. Then they sort of went away.
But last night I had one. It was reasonably realistic, except my manfriend was also skating (he doesn’t play derby). And it was a Sur5al tournament. Which was co-ed.
It wasn’t the best dream as it only featured us warming up for this tournament and I was all over the place. Like seriously. I was skating round the track like I normally do for warm-ups (those who have seen me know that I tend to skate fast for a few laps then mosey along, then fast for another few laps, rinse and repeat), but I kept overshooting the corners and skating outside the track boundary. Like my crossovers round the corners weren’t tight and I was sliding out the boundary. EVERY SINGLE TIME!
Guess my subconscious is worried about my return to derby in a month!