Little Louise
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TRYING TO READ PAPERS AFTER LUNCH
credit: BH
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if someone is genuinely interested in buying the xbox one, cool!
if someone is genuinely interested in buying the ps4, cool!
if...
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“Shall we begin”
Here is my piece for the Star Trek tribute artshow once more organised by...
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TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE, VIOLENCE
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Let me tell you a thing, about an amazing man named Patrick Stewart
I went to Comicpalooza this weekend and I was full of nervous energy as I was standing in line to ask Sir Patrick Stewart a question at his panel. I first had to thank him for a speech he had given at amnesty international about domestic violence towards women . I had only seen it a few months ago but I was still dealing with my own personal experience with a similar issue, and I didn’t know what to call it. After seeing Patrick talk so personally about it I finally was able to correctly call it abuse, in my case sexual abuse that was going to quickly turn into physical abuse as well. I didn’t feel guilty or disgusting anymore. I finally didn’t feel responsible for the abuse that was put upon me. I was finally able to start my healing process and to put that part of my life behind me.
After thanking him I asked him “Besides acting, what are you most proud of that you have done in you life (that you are willing to share with us)?”. Sir Patrick told us about how he couldn’t protect his mother from abuse in his household growing up and so in her name works with an organization called Refuge for safe houses for women and children to escape from abusive house holds. Sir Patrick Stewart learned only last year that his father had actually been suffering from PTSD after he returned from the military and was never properly treated. In his father’s name he works with an organization called Combat Stress to help those soldiers who are suffering from PTSD.
They were about to move onto the next question when Sir Patrick looked at me and asked me “My Dear, are you okay?” I said yes, and that I was finally able to move on from that part of my life. He then passionately said that his mother had done nothing to provoke his father and that even if she had, violence was never, ever a choice a man should make. That it is in the power of men to stop violence towards women. The moderator then asked “Do you want a hug?”
Sir Patrick didn’t even hesitate, he smiled, hopped off the stage and came over to embrace me in a hug. Which he held me there for a long while. He told me “You never have to go through that again, you’re safe now.” I couldn’t stop thanking him. His embrace was so warm and genuine. It was two people, two strangers, supporting and giving love. And when we pulled away he looked strait in my eyes, like he was promising that. He told me to take care. And I will.
Sir Patrick Stewart is an absolute roll model for men. He is an amazing man and was so kind and full of heart. I want to let everyone know to please find help if you are in a violent or abusive house hold or relationship. There are organizations and people ready to help. I had countless people after the panel thanking me for sharing the story and asking him those questions. Many said they went through similar things. You are not alone.
^ Here is the video of my question to Sir Patrick Stewart
Photos by Eugene Lee, Thank you
(via fraeuleinsarah)
1. There will be several days that you daydream about stepping in front of a city bus. Don’t. It will not be beautiful. It will not be brave. It will be selfish. It will be broken. Your mother will cry.
2. Don’t write for him. Write for you. Write for others like you. Write so the girl that thinks about stepping in front of public transportation doesn’t. Don’t be selfish.
3. When you will yourself to sleep and it doesn’t come- get up. It doesn’t matter that it’s 3 am. There will be other 3 am’s. Take a shower. Take two. Wash him out of your hair. Write a poem. Read the same book you’ve read 202 times again. The 203rd time might tell you something different. Don’t stay in bed- you will think about the bus again.
4. Don’t kiss him because he’s broken. Don’t kiss him because his laughter never reaches his eyes. Don’t try and fix him. Fix yourself first. Be selfish. He can’t save you.
5. Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself.
6. Dress up and wear red lipstick and get drunk with your friends. They’re the ones that will pick you up. Don’t kiss him. Or him. Don’t fall asleep on strange couches with strange boys. When his hand slides up your dress walk away. Hit him. Don’t kiss him. He can’t save you.
7. Get another tattoo. Get five more. Get another hole in your ear. Don’t listen to your dad. You will still be able to get a job. Did you really want to be employed by someone like your father? Haven’t you had enough of judgmental old white men anyway? Get fuck you tattooed in tiny letters on your hip.
8. When you feel the yearning for a new city- start over. Take 200 bucks and a three suitcases. Work anywhere that will have you. Meet strange people and forget your name. Call yourself Ruby. No one will know the difference. Remember to call your mother. Don’t be selfish. Come home when you find yourself in the strangers and the small one bedroom apartment.
9. Don’t whisper evil things into your own ear. Other people are going to shout them at you. Be your own hero. Keep a sword on your key ring.
10. Don’t step in front of a city bus. It will not be beautiful. Live. Stay up all night with a boy that promises you everything and means it. Live. See shitty local bands with a friend. Wear a different band’s t-shirt. No one will care. Live. Have a baby girl with tiny fingers and tiny toes someday. Pour love into her until it’s overflowing. Live. Wake up. Staying in bed all day is not poetic.
Live. Live.
Live.
Do you hear that? It’s me. It’s your life. Wake up.
SOMEONE HAS FINALLY PUT MY FEELING INTO AN INTELLIGENT POST.
Someone finally said it!
(via size10plz)
Would you believe that it is my last week in Dallas?! No? Me neither! I’ve been here since March 5th and leave on May 17th. Time has certainly flown by!
Despite being low at points during my stay here, I have absolutely loved being here. I’m glad I got the opportunity to come and live in a country before I seriously look at jobs out here when I finish my PhD. It’s helped me make the decision that I would really love to live and work out here at some point in the future.
I’ve learnt so much from the lab here, and am so grateful to the guys here for taking the time to show me the techniques properly so I can do them at home.
Being able to meet some local derby people was also a highlight. Spending Saturday with the Dallas Derby Devils and being their first ceremonial whistle blower was amazing. They are a real friendly bunch and I hope some day I get to skate with them, either for or against depending on where my career takes me.
Bout 1 - Helsinki v. Royal Windsor (304 - 153)
Bout 2 - Go Go Gent v. Lincolnshire Bombers (281-157)
Bout 3 - Tiger Bay Brawlers v. Crime City (244-212)
Bout 4 - Rainy City v. Leeds (175-246)
Bout 5 - Stockholm v. Helsinki (168 - 203)
Bout 6 - Berlin v. Go Go Gent (Friday 19:15)
…
GMT + 1 :-)
I really hate the “Scottish” accents they have in American TV adverts. I’m from Scotland, no-one sounds like that. Ever.
I had my first roller derby related dream in ages! I used to have them a lot. Then they sort of went away.
But last night I had one. It was reasonably realistic, except my manfriend was also skating (he doesn’t play derby). And it was a Sur5al tournament. Which was co-ed.
It wasn’t the best dream as it only featured us warming up for this tournament and I was all over the place. Like seriously. I was skating round the track like I normally do for warm-ups (those who have seen me know that I tend to skate fast for a few laps then mosey along, then fast for another few laps, rinse and repeat), but I kept overshooting the corners and skating outside the track boundary. Like my crossovers round the corners weren’t tight and I was sliding out the boundary. EVERY SINGLE TIME!
Guess my subconscious is worried about my return to derby in a month!
So yeah…this is actually a really good explanation of what my lows are like. The part that really hit me is how it’s hard to tell people what I’m going through—that I just feel numb and telling me to cheer up, or focus on the positives, isn’t going to help. Also, that feeling of, “I’m not suicidal but I don’t really want to live anymore” is something that I’ve experienced a lot, and it’s not easy to explain to people and most times I don’t want to because it either leads to them being upset, or angry with me for being “self deprecating”—both of which are things I don’t want them to feel and only make the situation worse. Which is why it’s easier to just lock myself up inside my head and not tell anyone the shit that goes through my mind on a daily basis.
Anyway, I’m getting rambly, but you should go read this.
(via heartsnbruises)
